Lost in a [F]orest of [S]ecrets * }

[Nightshadow]

Nightstar sighed to himself. He leaped up and into his den, stepping silently onto the patch of moss in the far left corner of his side of the den. Thoughts raced through his loud mind as he kneaded his nest and lay down, tucking his paws neatly under his chest. The tom's tail was curled to the left side of his body, and he kept still, lost in thought.

Lately, he'd been having insignificant dreams about his mother's tragic death. He wondered why he hadn't asked her who his father was. Now, that one particular question seemed to gnaw at him and claw him in his weak spots. He was very eager to know. For StarClan's sake, he could have siblings without even knowing it!

Heaving another near-silent sigh, he rest his head down on the moss. Nightstar took a quick mental note to change it; it wasn't as soft as it used to be.

Sometimes he wondered if the calamitous death of his mother had changed him, flipped him inside out. Before, he had been a lively apprentice that loved to socialize and make friends, but nothing really went on inside his mind. Now, his mind and heart were screaming all the secrets he'd kept locked in for moons while he remained at a taciturn disposition towards his Clan. Even at gatherings he had the quietest voice of them all.

Deep thoughts always seemed to haunt him in every corner of his mind. He never stopped at one thought without analyzing it completely and working out every detail. After every action he did, even if it was a simple greetings towards one of his warriors, he'd reminisce about it and think of exactly what he did right and wrong, what he could have done better. That was one of his largest weaknesses. He often regretted virtually all of his actions. Accepting his leader ceremony was one he was still deciding if it was a regret or not. So far, he'd enjoyed his time as leader, but would it last long?

Shaking his mind and his head, Nightstar began to clean himself. He licked a paw and drew it over his face a few times, tail suddenly flicking with impatience. His gray-blue eyes seemed a tad brighter than usual, and he felt a little bit restless. A sudden urge to hunt or just run enveloped him, but he ignored it and blinked once. He decided he'd hunt either tonight or tomorrow, whichever time of day called him with the most strength. For now, all he wanted to do - as always - was think.

[Shadeflight]

Iceclaw let out a small sigh as he glanced around his surroundings. He was sitting alone in the Warriors' den, in the hunters' side. There wasn't any one else in the den with him at the time; that was how he liked it. He was thinking silently to himself, almost constantly looking back up after looking down to see if anybody was coming around. Iceclaw let out another sigh, but sounding bored and frustrated. He got up with a vacant expression, but with the smallest hint of annoyance in his eyes.

Once outside the Warriors of the Hunting den, Iceclaw looked up at the sky to see what the weather was like. The sky was blue and cloudy, but the sun still shined through the thick, white clouds. Looking around below the sky, Iceclaw could see trees with leaves of all colors; green, yellow, and red, even brown ones that had fallen on the ground. He let out another sigh. This meant Leaf-bare would be coming sooner than they all would think it would.

Iceclaw paced in place for a moment, thinking of something to do to keep his thoughts off of Leaf-bare. He hated Leaf-bare almost more than Leaf-green, but he knew he had to deal with it anyway. Especially with the change of the four Clans forming together into two the past couple of moons and having two leaders instead of one, Iceclaw just knew that Leaf-bare this year would be more difficult than any other, what with the extra teamwork needed to complete all the necessary tasks to survive.

After a few moments, Iceclaw decided to go talk to his leader about any patrols that might be starting soon. So to stop himself from pacing any longer, he turned and began to head for the leader of the hunting's den. Slightly worried that there might not be any patrols soon, he continued to think of things he could do other than sit and sulk all day without anything to keep him occupied. Considering he didn't have an apprentice yet, Iceclaw didn't have very much to do during the day until the Clan deputy or a leader told him to do something.

He soon reached the main leaders' den. He took a turn to the left end of the den, to talk to the leader of the hunting, the leader of the category he had been placed in the day he became an apprentice. He inhaled, holding his breath for a few seconds. He had never talked to his leader much before, and he hadn't been a warrior for very long so he hadn't had much reason to. Now Iceclaw was talking to his leader for the first time by himself without any guidance if he messed up, and he couldn't help but feel ever-so slightly nervous as he exhaled and called out to his leader. "Nightstar?"

[Nightshadow]

The sudden voice had startled Nightstar. Silence was swirling around him in the den despite the loud thoughts in his head, and the unexpected warrior calling his name made him jump. Somewhat embarrassed, he stood up and gave himself a quick shake to calm his standing-on-end fur.

"Come in," the night-black tom called out with a quiet, almost inaudible voice. The hushed atmosphere that surrounded the den made his call sound like a battle-cry, however.

Even the sound of his own voice seemed strange to Nightstar. He rarely talked, usually keeping his thoughts to himself. He hadn't raised his voice in many, many moons. The only time that ever happened was when something as tragic as his mother's death happened, and as far as he knew, no one was that close to him. Thankfully, no one in the Clan has been harmed in a while, as well.

He sat down patiently, neatly curling his tail around his front paws, his right ear twisted awkwardly to the side. His eyes were much brighter than they usually were, and this was a surprise for the seemingly depressed leader. They glowed bluer in the darkness of the den, and awaited the entrance of Iceclaw.

[Shadeflight]

Iceclaw breathed in silently, still nervous about talking to his leader for the first time since he was an apprentice with the aid of his father. He lifted his right paw up slowly to take another step farther into Nightstar's den, trying to keep his cool. He gained the courage to walk normally with his third step, and entered the den.

When he was inside Nightstar's den, he blinked, and sat down a good distance from his leader. He took a deep breath, thinking he probably looked ridiculous looking so nervous around his own leader, and finally calmed down as he exhaled.

"Well," Iceclaw began, "I was wondering if there were any hunting patrols that were going to start soon . . . or if you wanted me to check something or anything." He shuffled his paws as he spoke. "Without an apprentice I don't have very much to do, so I wondered if you had any jobs for me. . . ."

Iceclaw's inner self smacked himself on the head, knowing how stupid he looked, and probably sounded. This isn't as easy as father made it seem, he tought, feeling annoyed with himself.

[Nightshadow]

Nightstar gazed at Iceclaw for a moment, lost in his own thoughts. He blinked once, and his gaze was revoked from Iceclaw. Now looking at his paws, he replied, "You may lead a hunting patrol, if you wish."

The leader didn't notice he was restlessly sheathing and unsheathing his claws, his breathing a tad quicker than usual. Something inside him urged him to run. Run far, run fast, run forever. He didn't know what. Maybe he just wasn't cut out for this leader thing. But would he really deny his sacred ancestors like that?

No. He couldn't. He wouldn't. He had a Clan to lead, and would not just abandon them like that. Nightstar wouldn't just back out. He promised his Clan, his ancestors, his mother... There was no chance of leaving now.

Nightstar felt his heart swell with pride for a moment, but that feeling was gone almost as quickly as it came. His mother. She was proud of him, that's for sure. She never seemed to visit him, though. Not in his dreams, in nature; she wasn't even there at his leader ceremony. It really hurt him.

Maybe that was why he had become so depressed. He hadn't seen her since her death, and it really made him feel unwanted. Nightstar ached to know where she was now, why she wasn't speaking with him. He didn't expect to know that anytime soon.

[Shadeflight]

Iceclaw pondered for a short moment about the patrol. He wasn't sure who he could bring with him on patrol, considering most patrols would've set out already, and there weren't that many options left. Iceclaw shifted a little in his spot, and tried not to take much longer to respond to his leader.

"Okay," he meowed. He began to stand up to turn around out of the den when something about Nightstar caught his eye. He could see Nightstar's claws unsheathing and sheathing, and it made Iceclaw slightly curious. His curiosity got to him before he could continue to turn around.

"Are you alright, Nightstar?" Iceclaw asked his leader, "You seem a little . . . fidgety." Iceclaw inwardly hit himself on the head. He knew he shouldn't be nosy and bug other cats about their personal business! Iceclaw stiffened his shoulders in anxiety of his leader's reaction, hoping he wouldn't snap at him.

It was a strange feeling of guilt and anxiety mixed together. He wanted to dig his claws into the ground to relieve his feeling of anxiety and stupidity and then turn around and run out in embarrassment, but he knew he must wait for his leader's response.

[Nightshadow]

Nightstar's ear turned sideways awkwardly, and he blinked once. The tip of his tail flicked, ruining out neatly it was tucked around his paws.

"I... I'm, er. Fine," he stammered, drifting away from Iceclaw's gaze. His eyes turned down towards the floor, watching own claws sheathing and unsheathing into the ground.

Truthfully, he was not fine. He felt as though something big were about to happen. Or maybe it was a prickle of hope. But something inside of him told him something significant, good or bad, would be happening soon. The leader had no idea how to anticipate his own heart.

"You may go," Nightstar meowed, hesitantly and dismissively. He had to remember to still remain leader-like. He had to remember to remain strong, no matter what happened. That was a hard thing to do when you felt like you could break at any minute. He just pretended to mute how he wasn't fine and just pretend he was.

[Icefire]

<sup>"Right there..." Cinderfrost murmered, twitching his tail, blue eyes narrow with concentration. He put a white paw in front of him slowly, slipping into a hunter's crouch. He unsheathed his claws and dug them into the ground, urging himself to be patient. The mouse was only a few tail-lenghts away.

As he approached the mouse, he let out a hiss of frustration. He had stepped on a twig that made a loug snapping noise, sending the mouse scurrying away. "Mouse-Dung!" He snarled, whisking around, blue eyes narrow with rage.

I had it. How could I mess a simple hunt up? Let alone a mouse. At this rate, I won't get anything done. Cinderfrost twitched his white-tipped ear, getting distracted from a loud noise nearby. The mouse forgotten, he turned to see what the noise was. "What was that? Well, I'll be the one to find out." He murmered, purring in satisfaction with the thought.

Cinderfrost twitched his nose in confusion, because soon after the scent washed away. "Hm. It must have just been me... Maybe I need to sleep or somethin', " he muttered, thinking this thoughts aloud.

Still forgetting about the mouse, he turned around and began to trot back to camp. He twitched his ear at the sound of voices coming from the leader's den. He decided to ignore the voices, but then thought of telling the leader what he had heard.

"Nightstar does need to know..." He muttered to himself. He trotted over to the leader's den and paused, unsure. I haven't been in the leader's den before.. He thought nervously, sighing.

He took another breath, then approached the den slowly. "Nightstar...?" He meowed nervously, unsure if it was a good time to interupt. He didn't dare take a step into the den without the leader's order, so he waited quietly for a response. What if I'm over reacting?</sup>